Sweetest Operator (Excerpt)

This week has been quite a busy one. I’ve not been able to come up with any short story for your reading pleasure. So I thought I should post something related. Below is an excerpt from my erotic-thriller Sweetest Operator. Oh, if you’re new, the writing is yet to be published. Enjoy.

 

 

 

Ariella was panting, confused. At first her fingers were trembling then her hands clenched and unclenched. Her blood was boiling. It was the first time she had ever hit a man. Carlos slowly touched, traced the slap on his face, feeling nothing but wonder. Is this my Ariella? Such a fever! Something yet more to love? He could not help but grab her this time and when he felt the burn of her breast he was determined to get her to understand.

“Let go of me!” screamed Ariella.

Her long coppery brown hair slung like lightning on her back and out from her mouth came curses only sailors could know. She managed to bring her hands up to his chest and tried to wriggle free, but breath sunk with every effort. The more she tried to break away, the more her body sunk into his. She realized that she was losing the struggle, but still she pounded hard with all her strength.

“C’mon, hit me. Hit me harder.” Carlos prodded.

He made several efforts with her hands, then they finally went limp. His voice suddenly began to tremble. “I’m the one. I feel responsible for all your family has been through.”

Slowly his grip around her began to loosen. He had no intention of holding her prisoner. Carlos leaned in slowly and softly and whispered in her ear. “It’s the fear of forever losing you that haunts me.”

Ariella looked into his eyes and saw the remorse burning brightly and somehow felt responsible for this.

He kissed her palm softly. Bittersweet memories returned to Ariella. They prodded a tear.

-...--Love--analove--romantika--black-n-white--passion--lovers--Heterocouple--1-R--Days--VinchCouple--cinas77_large

As his hand gently touched her cheek, she closed her eyes. She wondered how much her true self had been betrayed; this particular weakness she felt all along because the inner self had refused to move on without him. Despite the hurt and set back, it had no reason to judge him even when she tried.

“Shh…it’s okay.”

With his thumbs, Carlos traced her tear then softly stroked it away. He cupped her face and kissed her forehead and whispered: “Ari?”

“Hmm?”

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47 thoughts on “Sweetest Operator (Excerpt)

      1. Thank you so much, Uzoma! Life is precious, so our approaches to mold and navigate it must be as well. 🙂 Best wishes to you this week, and thank you for all of the kind words–they made my day!

  1. Wow! I love this story, as I read along all sorts of scenario came to mind! Can’t wait until you finish writing it! It’s fierce and subtle, a clash of human emotions. Great work Uzoma!!

  2. This is gold right here. Consider yourself followed and appreciated, Uzo. From what I’ve read on your blog, you seem to be a man with forward thought and wisdom.

    I also have a question: do you have some insight on how Nigerian culture views homosexuality? I had seen that one of your posts mentioned Oscar Wilde, and with the news in Uganda on their bills against homosexuals, I would really appreciate someone in Nigeria.

    Keep writing, my friend. I look forward to reading your thoughts in ink.

    1. Thanks, Seth. Yeah I remember the post–Oscar Wilde’s imprisonment was the prologue of the book. About homosexuality in Nigeria? It’s illegal, though a few people still practice it. Feel free to ask your questions and comment on whatever piques your interest on my blog. Happy reading.

      1. Thanks for getting back with me, Uzo. You’ll definitely be hearing my questions. Cultures that are different than mine intrigue me, and the way you write entrances me. Hypnotize me further.

  3. You’ve weighed the sense and sensibility of each character here, Uzoma, the way they act and reflect within one another. Each changing tide of spoken words and actions found their potential derivatives of human factor variables, “it felt real”…

    1. The scene took quite some effort to write. As the creator, I worried (still worry) about how natural and relevant it would be. Thanks for the encouragement. Glad to hear you say “it felt real.” I will rest my thoughts today.

      1. There are always choices, set that section aside if it does not meet your expectations or intentions for the story as a whole. Maybe write an entirely new scene if you don’t think it works, perhaps.

        1. I will take your advice and let the section rest for some time. Maybe I will also send it to some of my female writer friends and see what they think alongside the comments of the wonderful ones I have here. You’re a true friend, Sean.

    1. Okay, that’s a good one. I’m happy it got your approval–at some point, I started doubting and that’s why I opened up to Sean. About what they’ll do next? Well I might just take them to Nicki Minaj or Chris Breezy 😉

      1. I missed you too brother…:) I’ve been busy writing something big! I’m very excited how its coming out. It won’t be finished till next month. But its big! 🙂 Other than what I’ve been doing. I’ve been great and spending a lot of time with my girlfriend…:) And you? how have you been?

        1. Sounds like a lot of fun and happiness to me. I wish you the best and my warmest greetings to your girlfriend. Well, I’ve set a target for myself this year–to finish two of my manuscripts and look for a publisher abroad. This makes me excited and nervous at the same time because I’m still a novice for the most part 😦

  4. I think “felt the burn of her breast” is the most strinking line in the passage and an able hyperbole.
    “…from her mouth came curses…” This gets a ‘show don’t tell’ flag.
    In fact, look at that whole paragraph with your ‘show don’t tell’ cap on.

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